Embracing Fluidity: When Labels Don't Define Who You Are
Do you find yourself thinking, 'If I don't label my sexuality, what do I identify as to other people?' This is a question many individuals struggle with. In today's society, labeling has become not just a common but almost a necessary practice. However, as someone who strongly believes in rejecting labels, I will offer some insights and explore the journey of identity evolution.
The History and Pitfall of Labeling
Psychology, which emerged in the 1880s, introduced the practice of labeling. It divides, stamps a specimen label, and puts people in boxes. This system can feel restrictive and inescapable. I am a man, and that is enough. I have my own likes and dislikes just as everyone does. There are countless examples throughout history of individuals who thrived without such labels. Think of Prince Jonathan and his armor bearer, the future King David, who were married with children but had a monumental love for each other. After Jonathan was killed in battle, David said their love was greater than the love of women.
Finding Comfort in Fluidity
One of my friends uses the word 'fluid.' I sometimes say 'I don’t identify as anything,' 'pansexual,' 'bisexual,' 'questioning,' or even 'straight' depending on who I'm talking to. However, people rarely ask. It's easier for me to say 'I don’t identify as anything' because then I don't have to worry about being 'queer enough.' I never feel like I fit in with people for whom their sexuality is an identity. Thus, I can be myself and not worry about offending others.
The feeling of never being 'valid' can be difficult. It can also be challenging to see others being proud of their identity or bonding over it, while you don't feel the same way. It's a journey. Our sexual preferences are bound to evolve over time, and it's okay to feel like an outcast. The societal performance of sexuality and romance will always exclude people and make them insecure.
Why Labels Aren't Always Necessary
Should you feel the need to label your sexuality? Many of us feel that others care deeply about our sexual preferences, but is that always the case? In my life, I've met many people, and I never cared about who any of them liked in the bedroom. If I asked a woman out, and she didn't date men, I just said 'ok' and moved on.
Do we really need to put a label on our sexuality? Most people do it to identify with others and feel a sense of belonging to a community. This is perfectly fine. However, if you don't feel the need to do so, you don't have to. You don't have to define any aspect of yourself to receive validation and connect with others. The pursuit of validation and identity should not come at the cost of your true self.
Conclusion
Our sexuality is a part of who we are, but it doesn't define the entirety of our identity. Embrace the fluidity of your preferences and the journey of self-discovery. Remember that labels are tools, not definitions. Be true to yourself, and let others do the same.