The Dynamics of College Roommates: Do They Become Friends?

Transitioning from high school to college can be a significant milestone in one's life. Along with the academic challenges, college life also comes with the dynamics of living with roommates. The question often arises, 'Do college roommates become friends?'

In my experience, I was respectful, paid on time, and had clear goals with a timeline. I took on four jobs while attending college, sometimes working most days and tackling a full course load. My schedule was quite busy, and I had a clear focus on my purpose and timeline. Our initial conversations sometimes set a mood for the day, but at the beginning, I didn't necessarily care about forming close friendships with my roommates. They were typically younger, less mature, and had access to parental funding. In a few cases, they had never worked a day in their life, not even dog sitting.

Independence and Boundaries

I set up a communication dry erase board in the dining area so we could leave notes, track bills, and manage mail more effectively. As I worked three jobs most days and took a full load of classes, by the time I got home, I just wanted some quiet time to take a shower, relax, and sleep. Most days, I would study and do laundry. I ate on the go and rarely used the kitchen, using every inch of my room for various purposes.

I focused on my goals and did not interfere with others, understanding that I did not have the financial or time resources for partying or shopping. I was delighted when they enjoyed their activities. Of the eight roommates I had, only one became a great friend. As mentioned, in college, it's essential to focus on your grades and move forward. Unlike many, I had a career path after graduation. I had money saved up, and I was excited about full-time employment with benefits, a significant achievement for my generation.

Community College Experience

I have also spent time at a community college, where I am still enrolled. Navigating the dynamics of living with roommates in this setting is also challenging. You may not see yourself becoming friends with your roommates, and it might be difficult to know if you will become just classmates or friends. If they ask you to stop something or keep your distance, it is best to comply. Missteps can lead to serious problems, so be mindful of your interactions.

Personal Experience with Roommates

My first roommate and I got along right from the start. Naturally, we became friends, which lasted until he moved out. We stayed friends at a distance, seeing each other every now and then. We attended each other's weddings, and then we lost touch after some time due to living far apart.

My second roommate was a different story. Initially, we started off as friends, but by the sixth month, we had developed a deep mutual dislike for each other. Interestingly, in the middle of this, I met his sister, and she became my wife. This twist in the story shows that sometimes the dynamics of college roommates can take unexpected turns.

In conclusion, while the idea of forming deep friendships with college roommates is appealing, it might not always happen. It's important to focus on your goals, maintain boundaries, and respect each other's space. If you do become friends, cherish the time, but remember that you might not always have that connection once you leave your college years behind.